My liver just broke up with me...
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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