after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
