also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
