super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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