wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
The ass gains better be worth it
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
