So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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