Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
