Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
