i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
