Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Say something about gay babies.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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