May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
