I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
