im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
