You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
everyone is single if you try hard enough
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
