I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
