am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
