Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
