It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
