So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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