He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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