I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast