Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
