Your dad touched me again.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.