Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there

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  (305): If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there http://tfl.nu/dyet
  Replies (14) Good night (5576) Bad night (553)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.

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  (708): Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now. http://tfl.nu/4cfq
  Replies (55) Good night (7268) Bad night (1044)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.

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  (617): Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero. http://tfl.nu/4xtx
  Replies (33) Good night (1677) Bad night (4972)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.

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  (540): I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse. http://tfl.nu/5mjb
  Replies (8) Good night (4583) Bad night (943)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.

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  (859): They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college. http://tfl.nu/okdu
  Replies (6) Good night (3973) Bad night (685)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated

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  (860): Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated http://tfl.nu/83mz
  Replies (7) Good night (2059) Bad night (1700)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple

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  (502): i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple http://tfl.nu/806d
  Replies (4) Good night (1681) Bad night (800)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?

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  (574): should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band? (1-574): meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis? http://tfl.nu/hzbs
  Replies (8) Good night (1974) Bad night (559)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat

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  (920): I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat http://tfl.nu/rpn1
  Replies (3) Good night (485) Bad night (1349)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed

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  (404): The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed http://tfl.nu/y06v
  Replies (10) Good night (2895) Bad night (785)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway

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  (803): Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway http://tfl.nu/xe68
  Replies (6) Good night (744) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.

  (727): View more from Florida

  I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'

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  (727): I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude. (727): I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.' http://tfl.nu/bvh3
  Replies (2) Good night (769) Bad night (217)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.

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  (713): He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us. http://tfl.nu/qccw
  Replies (2) Good night (378) Bad night (187)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson

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  (804): I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson http://tfl.nu/bost
  Replies (0) Good night (442) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed

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  (347): Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed http://tfl.nu/rghw
  Replies (2) Good night (509) Bad night (187)

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