I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks