the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...