My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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