careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
