HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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