batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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