Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
