I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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