Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
