My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
