yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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