Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
