Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize