Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
