Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
