Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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