She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
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If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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