my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
