using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
