I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
