my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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