well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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