Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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