Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
