I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize