he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
me + whiskey = a bad person
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
