I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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