Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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