Don't you send me to vm
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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