Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize