They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
