i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize