it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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