Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
