my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
