Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
