She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
