I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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