I got chris browned last night
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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