The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
