Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
