love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
