In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
